When I Ask for What I Need, Episode 174

Asking for what we need is difficult for so many of us, because by genuinely asking we open ourselves up to the possibility that another person might respond in a way we’re not expecting. Said another way, making genuine requests shows us that we’re not – actually – in control of how other people show up in our lives. But at the same time, it’s our capacity to request that opens up worlds – of dignity, mutual relationship, and the possibility that we might actually get met in a way that’s much more solid, real and trustworthy than we’ve experienced so far. This episode of Turning Towards Life is a conversation about the power and vulnerability of being someone who asks, and who can hear the answer; hosted as always by Lizzie Winn and Justin Wise of Thirdspace.

This is Turning Towards Life, a weekly live 30 minute conversation hosted by Thirdspace in which Justin Wise and Lizzie Winn dive deep into big questions of human living. Find us on FaceBook to watch live and join in the lively conversation on this episode. We’re also on YouTube, and as a podcast on Apple, Google and Spotify. You can find videos of every episode, and more about the project on the Turning Towards Life website.

Our source this week is written by Lizzie.

Making Requests
Ask for what I need. 
Requesting help.
How vulnerable. 
My heart sits in another’s hands.
They can say no. Or turn away. 
They can say yes too.
I’m afraid of rejection. Of having needs.
Do I even know what I need ?
Life taught me pretty well, 
That independence is king.
It’s the way to do life.
But is it ?
What if depending on others is life ?
An allowing them to depend on me too ?
And so asking, responding, opening.
Turning inward and finding what’s mine.
And then asking. Being in conversation.
How brave I need to be.
And how honouring of myself I need to be. 
Requests open up relationship. 
And then we have to swim,
In what gets made.
And it may open the world.
But things may also have to end. 
And all that needs to be OK to make the request in the first place.
What a rip to head into relating this way.
And am I willing to take this risk
And say yes to life.

Lizzie Winn

Photo by Neil Thomas on Unsplash