Who I Become in Disappointing, Episode 172

Perhaps one of the most difficult steps in each of our development, in our becoming more ourselves, is the push-back we get from the people around us – often the people who are closest-in to our lives. We find ourselves caught between the life that is longing to unfold into the world, and the parts of us that want to keep us safe from shame and disapproval. And at the same time, even as we long to bring ourselves in new ways, we find ourselves holding other people back in the name of staying safe – or at least staying familiar.

This episode of Turning Towards Life is a conversation about how we might undo this constricting way of relating to one another, so that we can act as a welcome to  gifts that might not otherwise be brought into the world, hosted as always by Lizzie Winn and Justin Wise of Thirdspace.

This is Turning Towards Life, a weekly live 30 minute conversation hosted by Thirdspace in which Justin Wise and Lizzie Winn dive deep into big questions of human living. Find us on FaceBook to watch live and join in the lively conversation on this episode. We’re also on YouTube, and as a podcast on Apple, Google and Spotify. You can find videos of every episode, and more about the project on the Turning Towards Life website.

Here’s our source, written by Lizzie:

Who do I become in disappointing ?

I don’t do what’s expected.
They try and shame me back.
To my habitual self. When I’m trying to be me.
But I want to keep the door open.
To living MY life. Not the one they envisage for me.
As I disappoint others. Maybe even my Mum.
I find a kind of emptiness that’s mine to explore.
A blank canvas that’s inviting me to life.
My precious life. The life that’s calling to me.
And which I know is my path.
I sit in stillness to find my ballast.
My centre propels the noise to the side. For now.
Now when I look at life itself.
I open to the gifts being bestowed.
And dedicate myself to listening.
And the others might get to live something else.
That wouldn’t come if I keep dancing the dance.
And what if by dancing the dance I am stealing.
Stealing an experience away that’s needed.
And which might, with courage, bring untold blessings.

Photo by Thomas Griesbeck on Unsplash